But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I think I just sharted jello shots
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
