What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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