I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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