respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
