Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
