Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
