id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
