Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
