Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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