I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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