Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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