I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
