She announced her abortion via fbk
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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