I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
