I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
