I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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