the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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