I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
