Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
