maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
