Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
We are two peas in an std pod
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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