Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
i think i just lost a toe
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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