this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
