No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
