Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There r osticjed everywhere
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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