That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize