hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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