the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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