New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
