Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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