Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Randomize
