I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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