Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
