Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
