And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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