Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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