I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
