Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
