dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
