I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
