Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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