I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
