dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I am naked and annoyed.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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