i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
