would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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