I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
