You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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