I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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