In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
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i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
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I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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