Apparently you make a good broom.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
cat food counts as protein by the way
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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