i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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