Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
