Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize