I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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