So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Did I show you my penis last night?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
