You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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