Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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